Monday, January 29, 2007
Your Pride Quotient: 57% |
 You have your proud moments, but you're also likely to be a little ashamed of them. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's normal to want to make a stellar impression. |
Are You Depressed?
Your Depression Level: 28% |
 You may be depressed. While you can be moody, your moods generally fall within the range of normal. It's up to you to decide if you're depressed... or if you're simply having a bad week. |
My Funky Hair Color
Your Hair Should Be Orange |
 Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices. |
the facts of life....
- 1/29/2007 10:50:00 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
made me think alot
im lucky and shld be greatful i didnt lose my grandparents to the war...they survived to build a home, a family....but the song made me think....after so much hardships together, 2 lovers have to seperate....yes we will meet again up there....but its still heartbreaking....
many times i cried these few days during the funeral is due to seeing my grandma crying...seeing her cry just made me cry.....
i got so many to blog but i cant explain anything in words at the moment...haiz....just pray for my grandma pls....
the facts of life....
- 1/23/2007 10:04:00 PM
been really very tiring these few days....not enough sleep, fluctuating moods, weakened physical barrier.....
for those who didnt know, my grandpa died...wont mention about it though
thx to all who came...must be first where someone asks "You coming for this wake?" haha....sry Kel and Russ, amidst ur busy schedule u all still came down....im touched really...thx Josiah too
thx to Joshua who came down for 2 days....didnt realised u were my childhood buddy from church...lol
thx to Men, Bel, (lol) Sheng Wei and Jiechao for coming down too
thx to Suying and Geok for making it down so super duper late
thx to Mag and Wini for the company and the chats
thx to all others who provided comforting words, pats, hugs...etc
i just needed frens there...to be strong lar....for the family and all....so thru out the whole thing, i was acting like the big cousin im supposed to be, sharing jokes and all (wrong timing, but i wanted everyone to be happy and not sad....coz im sure gramps dont wanna see us sad) and just to take care of as much as possible....
21 yrs of having him around, naggin' at him to stop smokin' and everytime, he listens to me and throws his cigratte away, helping my granny w xmas food and stuff....giving me extra big ang baos......
at the start of my 22nd yr......
bye gramps...u had a fulfilling life and role....
cya in Heaven soon :)
guess a toughie really only cries into his pillow at night
the facts of life....
- 1/23/2007 09:33:00 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
as im blogging this now, im hiding under my absolutely fabulous comforter....its totally freezing!!! eargh! lol...also feeling a tad irritated....coz cant login to WoW! double eargh!!!
been to Camp D and back...and its fabulous....i would dare say its a wonderful experience for me....ever since leaving SJI, i havent been to any other leadership camps....arh...the memories....
monday left my house feeling totally wet....it was raining! Camp D was in Sentosa....and i was hoping for the sun....so during games, i can run about, get burnt and hopefully a tan...but that was not to be..../cry
we were late...supposed to meet at 1.30pm but instead we got there at 2.30pm and well....received quite a tirade from the exco....haha
went to the chalet, found out our room arrangements, and groupings for the camp, and we started....ur usual ice breakers like thinking of a group name and painting of a flag....etc
hmm...perhaps i should explain what this camp is all about. this camp is a selection camp for council, where those attending the camp will have a chance to be the exco for 2007-2008, and I was selected to go for it. who are the others, here lemme list :)
Projects - Huili, Fiona, Alicia, Chris, Hanyuan, Ganesh, Ben Eoon and Me
as for the rest, i dunno which departments some of them are in, so names only....haha
Jacintha, Wan Shi, Wanyuan, Rebecca, Daisy, Jie Chao, Jing Xiang, Ben Sim, Lawrence, Rayner, Neville, Kevin, Ah Kiat, Marcus To, Jeremy, Fabian and Joshua
out of this list, 14will be chosen....
3 in HQ - President, Vice Prez and Treasurer-cum-Secretary
3 in Projects - Projects Head + 2 DY
3 in Sports - Sports Head + 2 DY
3 in Welfare - Welfare Head + 2 DY
2 in Editorial - Editorial Head + 1 DY
back to our story...
I was in Group D with Fiona, Daisy, Ben Sim, Neville and Fabian. we called ourselves Group Duh....and everything we answered with a "Duh...." with a resonance....lol
We played other games like building a house for our egg....and our egg was the only one that didnt break!!!! wheeee! great start for the group! well...2 broke and 1 went MIA....who ask Huili group to build SEVERAL apartments for one egg....in the end they didnt even know which apartment contains the egg.....haha
then we headed to Ferry Terminal to play loads of fun games....
Group Duh bonded very well and I was super happy....we ended the day with some skits and briefing within the group, whole camp and departmental briefings...and in group briefing....everyone said my weakness was i talked too much!!! haha...it was totally embarrassing yet memorable...haha
- End of Day 1 : Slept @ 3.30am -
woke up at 7am...and heading down for breakfast....which was bread......lol
after breakfast, we got ready for Treasure Hunt!!!! its totally different concept...and incorporates an idea of Survivor...scheming....plotting...and auctioning...haha
we started off in the same direction, all 4 groups, but group A schemed against us! DAMN! lol...well long and short of it, they just went ahead of us while the remaining 3 groups went together at a slower pace...we took the tram but even then the tram was slower! lol...hilarious
but at the 2nd station....as the auction was starting...sth bad happened....to me....
i black out.....
Marcus, Ganesh and my group was talking to me about strategies and all...and suddenly, I couldnt hear them at all...and my vision turned black.....i quickly sat then beside Fabian on a beach bench.....later on, I heard from everyone that I suddenly turned super duper uber pale and was wovering....
after i sat down, i could hear some chats....but it was "pssstpsst" nth...."pssstpss" nth...like a brokened speaker....i felt my head tightening, and very very warm....when Jing Yue massage my head, she exclaimed "Aiyoh! Very hot leh! Forehead not hot, so not fever, but here *pointing to centre of my scalp* very hot!" That got attention of the remaining exco and immediately i was told to stop the games and head back to the chalet..... T_T...the rest had left for the next stop, only Alvin, Jing Yue, Dee and Sharon stayed behind with me
i went back w Dee, my head...who was super concerned....
on the way back, we stopped at a 7-11, and hey!!! everyone was there!!! Ben Sim saw me and quickly bought a bao for me....Fabian passed me one of the 2 packets of chocolates they had....i was so touched! sobs....so immediately, i stocked up on some cup noodles for them...hee
and slept....woke up around 2 and was wondering why no one back yet and conked out again....finally at 3, everyone came back, came into my room and "how are u?!" "darling u ok?" - Marcus To....lol...."You had enough rest?"....etc
I went down and had my lunch with everyone, and those who didnt squeeze and teetered into my room bounded over to my table to ask how i was.....man....totally lost face sia....so weak...haha
after lunch, headed down to the beach to play more games...and i joined in some...and ended up receiving a combo of water bomb hits....lOl...everyone was concerned again but i told them i was fine....
then we had bbq....had a fun time playing bridge, crapping, eating and then briefing again! and we headed for bed...i plonked quickly...
- End of Day 2 : Slept @ 3am -
then today morning woke up at 6am...a run!!!! but im excused lar....haha....but we were late and exco immediately scolded us...omg...like army!!! coz their plan was last day of camp, they act serious...lol...so they did 5bx, run...etc...and ended near 8 where we had breakfast.
after breakfast, packed our stuff and played a "continue-the-story" game...it was hilarious and man....the nonsensical stuff that can emanate from everyone! *hmm...isit right to use emanate here....emanate means emit no?*
after games, we had briefing again...and then break up for departmental briefings! and during briefings, i felt so emo all of a sudden.....EXCO STEPPING DOWN!!!!
i joined this camp, knowing its an exco selection camp, but i told myself just enjoy and be low profile....but i forgot the other reason. to have selection means to have exchange. to have an exchange means stepping down! this reasoning came as we were talking and i saw Dee's and Shirl's eyes going watery....cant help it and i started to tear myself...and when they finish briefing, I asked "Why dont we say sth about our 3 Projects Ladies on their role for the entire of 2006?" And before my turn, Dee and Shirl kept cutting me! so bad...
but when it was my turn (i was last btw), and i started talking, my words came out in between sobs....
many things happened since i entered SRC...and thru out my event, they 3 showered me with lots of love like big sisters....though they are younger than i am...lol...cept for Cindiie!!! and as these memories flood back, the dam is brokened and water rushes out...
after that, dee told me, typical SJI Peer Support guys...
and Shirl and Cin also put in their pats.....
that was the end of Camp D.....
but tmr a new beginning starts.....interviews and outcomes......things getting serious tmr....
but memories will remain........emo me...haha
but the qns is : what path will i undertake?
the facts of life....
- 1/15/2007 12:32:00 AM
Sunday, January 07, 2007
this group of close frens have other frens that in one way or another, everyone knows everyone. however, these frens are much closer to the others than to me...in terms of ranking, ill be last...
they'll be remembered but i wont...
during their bdaes, these frens shower them with gifts, acknowledgements and texts, but i get zilch....
kinda sad but its true...my circle of frenship is currently confined to this lil group....
i wish to be showered with concern, care and presents too...but unless i organise my own party where those invited give me a present out of formality, i wont get anything. but my frens, they get something when we have a gathering, even when its past or before the bdae...i admire them so...really...when i see one fren, whom all of us know, pass someone a present....but on my special day i get nothing...it is really disappointing......how my social life has dissipated to almost nothing....
they have other frens, that if A talks about, B, C and D will join in coz they know that person....but i just sit back and listen...coz i dont know most of the frens they know...all i can ask is who, or what happened....and pretend to understand....i really feel left out, but i cant show it out, coz im suppose to be all smiles and no frowns....im suppose to be easy going and frenly.....but when i wanna share something about my other frens, all of them dont know anything at all...so might as well shut my trap.....clearly shows their circle and my circle are far far apart....of a different social class.....so in the first place...why and how am i so close to them?
jealous? yeah i think i am....disappointed? sad? at a lost? yeah prolly all of that too.....
yar...its good enuff that i have this group to care for me and all....but when i hear of their bigger groups of frens, though not as close as we are, but close enuff for them to be remembered and acknowledge each other...i really feel pathetic....very pathetic...especially when we share some of these frens......but the rest, the majority....i dont even know.....my frens...all of them dunno....really feel so detached....
haiz....guess this is another night where emo Joseph appears....
the facts of life....
- 1/07/2007 11:28:00 PM
